Just browsed thru friendster and looked up some of my old friends in the industry and it just brings back memories of the good ole days.
Ever since graduating from college all I wanted to be was a damn good photojournalist. But look at where I am now. Sure I am still in the media industry but I am more and more mired in admin stuff. Stuff which I vowed way back never would be involved in.
Its not as if I am regretting the turn of events. I mean what I am doing right now is pretty much mondo stuff. Laying down the groundwork for a brand new bureau, going head to head with some of the stiffest competition our publication has ever faced, setting up distribution points and managing a team of AE's, correspondents, and delivery personnel. I have no doubt that our team will succeed in the East Coast. But still ...
There is still an itch to really just go out and cover the news as it happens. I am not talking about the usual press conference and pr stuff but full blown hardcore news stuff. Stuff that will make it to the history books.
I miss covering protest marches, natural disasters, human tragedy. I miss running and jostling for position with my fellow photogs. I miss standing in the blistering sun, eyes constantly roaming, fingers twitching, emotions constantly on edge. I miss the adrenaline rush and the seemingly nothingness of waiting for something to break.
Earlier on I have foregone my DSLR for a camcorder, thinking it would be more fun and challenging. It was for a time. I loved the switch from stills to motion. I loved the exactness of the editing bay and the tediousness of cramming a story in a minute thirty. I loved the various cables and battery packs wieghing down my harness as well as the pair of wireless mikes that I always have on hand. i loved watching my footage shown on Channel 18 and in some occasions GMA 7 in Manila. Now we are affiliated with Balitang America of ABS-CBN and would be shooting some footage and possible on-cam work for the network.
But I digress. The point is, though I love what I am doing right now (running the NYNJ bureau) nothing can replace the thrill of covering the news be it for publication or broadcast. In fact I tried to lobby for an Iraq posting and even filled out an application for embedded journalists from the US DOD. Even going so far as thinking of spending for my airfare and all the protective gear required by the DOD. For there is no greater dream of mine than to be a war correspondent.
Futile dreams and gestures perhaps but still I tried.
It still tingles in my veins. The urge, the thrill. Nothingness and an adrenaline rush.